On being a slashie

I’ve been so busy being secretary for our local art trail I haven’t even got my own art work prepped for sale. And we open on May 4th - a mere ten days’ time. Cripes! 

I take photographs - either with my SLR or with my iphone. When I’ve edited and enhanced the images I download them onto a memory stick for Steve to print. This year I’m having two seaside images made into small mounted prints. The rest will be greetings cards to sell direct to the public. That’s in theory. 

On top of that, while we’re establishing our double ensuite room as a listing on Airbnb I’m still prepping maths worksheets and activities for my pupils. In addition I have yet to make cakes to raise money for charity.

No wonder I feel as if I’m holding down several jobs - I am a modern-day slashie:

tutor/photographer/community art secretary/Airbnb host/ fund-raiser for Sierra Leone schoolgirls/ writer

When I was a full-time head of faculty I cleaned our house on Thursday evenings so the place would look good for the weekend and neat enough when friends came over. I’d shop on a Saturday and do the garden on a Sunday. My life was contained, controlled, defined by my role as SENCO ( special needs co-ordinator). There was little time for anything else.

Now that I’m a slashie - nine years after leaving full time work - I blog as often as I can but where does all the time go? It is so true when you hear folks say ‘How did I ever have the time to go to work?’

I enjoy gardening and running our household but we’ve found it necessary to employ a cleaner. The trapped nerve in my lower back won’t allow me to sustain the ‘spotless’ standards required by Airbnb if we do take on more guests. At least that part of the house will be well cared-for. 

But, with these domestic and tutor-driven commitments, I’m getting NO time to look over critiques of my writing nor to edit my manuscript. It’s been a year since I sent it out to agents and there’s no point forwarding it to others unless it’s been edited some more. Where do I get the time? 

I have no time for making delicious meals either. Thankfully Richard is a good cook and if Airbnb guests want a cooked breakfast he’s up for catering for them. He yet has to perfect his eggs hollandaise.

Last Sunday we made easy money selling books, figurines, bags, shoes and unwanted clothes at our local car boot sale. We were only there three hours. So many vendors arrive at 7 am and dealers buy from them within moments of their arriving. We are far more laid back than that - roll up an hour later and leave an hour earlier. Who wants to get up at 6 am on a gloriously sunny Easter Day when you’re a slashie? 

( ps I’m supposed to be retired). 

A is for Autism. B is for Bryony. C is for Controlling.

I’ve been wondering whether someone I’ve known, and been infuriated by, for many years is autistic. It’s less usual to find autism or Aspergers diagnosed in females but in this case the woman I refer to suffers from anxiety, depression and is very rigid in outlook. So I wonder whether her reactions to things she doesn’t agree with or dislikes - and that’s almost everything and everyone - is down to her being autistic. I have taught mildly autistic children, but not known any adults with the condition. Well, not knowingly.

What is my evidence? As a child Bryony would be up at 5 am cleaning - no-one told her to - and even now has a meltdown if criticised. It’s very odd for a child under ten to be up early to do something dutiful like cleaning, isn’t it? Up early to open presents, yes, but even so 5 am for any child is far too early in the day.

On the plus side Bryony's home is extremely - excessively - neat and tidy. Everything is spotless as she still - as an adult - gets up before dawn to clean. The garden looks hoovered and not a cup can be left out of place for long before it’s moved and washed up - immediately - it would never be left in the sink to soak. And she's an excellent cook. All her skills are domestic ones.

But on the down-side Brony never goes out for coffee, nor to the cinema and is never asked out to anyone else’s home. Shopping has to be done in a certain way, the car has to be spotless and she seems fearful of new, different people or new situations which she can’t control. She always gets to an event far, far too early and greetings cards are written and sent a month in advance. Bryony’s hypercritical and it’s difficult to have a discursive conversation with her as everyone has to agree with her views or she bangs the table or ‘flies off the handle’. 

Are these the symptoms of autism? Few social filters, the need to control and be in control, being uncomfortable in anything but very familiar surroundings and not caring that she might have upset others with her rigid views. Also the lack of a social life and always having to be home in bed by a set time...

I’d be grateful if anyone who knows about autism in adults could shed light on the situation. I do know I can only take her in very small doses and always feel controlled by her when we do meet. I dislike the way everything has to be on her terms and I've noticed other people have learned not to challenge her. She did have a break down, necessitating early retirement, and took an overdose a few years ago. I’m not sure if she was sectioned under the mental health act but certainly there have been mental health issues over the years, or so I've been told. I’ve only known this person in her adult life and would like to know more about her as a child  but it’s true she’s not easy to be around for more than a few hours - and only every now and then. 

Is this autism or just a controlling personality with a very conservative, rigid outlook? She is self-righteous and very finicky. Trivia, always to do with cleaning, home maintenance, like whether the washing-up bowl has been cleaned inside and out etc, occupies her mind as does being critical of others. She’s conformist and no-one comes up to her ultra-high standards. Nor would they want to. I don’t feel she lives in a happy land and she talks about herself rather than how things affect other people.

Is this autism? Or something else? She's certainly been depressed enough to take an overdose but she's hard work to be around. Bryony isn't well-read and has no formal qualifications. Is she just insecure?
And is being hypercritical of others her way of boosting a fragile ego? 
As far as I know no-one else has autism in her family but Bryony's own aunt was rigid and controlling and 'wouldn't be told.' 

I wonder. Is it mental health, is it autism or just a personality I and many others find off-putting? This in turn leaves her socially isolated.

Losing my blob

Decorating creates chaos - believe me - it does: 

 I've spent too many weeks this year emptying cupboards and wardrobes, shifting furniture, stepping over Henry Hoover, trying not to tip cans of paint on the carpet and living in general chaos. Tonight, now that Richard and I have succumbed to sore throat disease, I nearly - to quote Billy Elliott - lost my blob. 

We only had half a wall, a short skirting board and a third coat on the bedroom radiators to paint today. That necessitated moving an empty-ish wardrobe - no problem I hear you cry. In theory, no, not a problem. But the bed then became covered in bits and pieces from the wardrobe and I couldn't get past it to finish painting the radiators. Fluff under the wardrobe needed vacuuming and the way Henry Hoover was plugged in I looked like a contortionist trying to vacuum whilst balancing on one hand. I had to take control. I unwound Henry Hoover and approached the vacuuming from a different angle and with a new nozzle. In no time it was 'job done'. Richard was ready to paint the skirting boards and every time he bent down to do so I annoyed him - not on purpose - by squeezing past him with a paint brush and pot of satin white for a final third coat on the radiators. Yes, Farrow and Ball is expensive but is such good consistency and nowhere else have I needed three coats...

Finally the tasks were achieved. Richard started coughing and required paracetamol and I opened the windows even wider to get rid of eau-de-eggshell forcing Richard to hide downstairs with the heating on. I was baking hot and he was shivering. He has a cold - but wanted to help doing the decorating - and I wanted the windows open.

 After a friend had been round for nibbles and a glass of wine I redressed myself in decorators' overalls and put a second coat on the skirting board then painted two doors in Farrow and Ball New White eggshell. I couldn't do it earlier as our guest would have gone home with his sleeves covered in paint from our still-wet door frames. 

'Please, Richard, don't shut the sitting room door, it's still tacky and it will stick,' said I as I gathered up dust sheets in the bedroom. 

All was going well until I announced I couldn't sleep in our room along with the paint fumes. Richard shut all the windows again and said he'd be ok sleeping there but I knew it wouldn't be good for his cough. He was certainly suffering from a chill and was ready for bed about 7:30 pm. He elected to sleep in the spare room and helped get the sofa bed down for me. I wasn't ready for sleep, unsurprisingly. I last went to bed at 7:30 pm when I was eight. But I needed the sofa bed - if I shared  the spare bed with Richard, who was coughing well, neither of us would get any sleep. 

In order to get the sofa bed down one chair had to be moved, a table's contents had to be shifted and I needed to get to some bedding. Great! Spare bedding was easily found but the duvet was hidden under all the contents of the moved wardrobe from earlier in the day. I almost lost my blob...

When Richard had gone to bed I re-opened all the bedroom windows to let out the paint smells.(So much for odourless paint). I struggled to remove the duvet without getting it stuck to still-wet skirting boards and went downstairs to switch off the heating. Sadly the sitting room door had not been left open - as I'd requested - and now has to be redone along the edge by the hinge. I left it open.  Finally I was ready to settle down to watch 'The Durrells'. And, just like last week, it was a vain hope: I couldn't get comfortable on the sofa bed. The cat, finding it exciting that the sitting room door was open, found his way upstairs and wanted to come into the sofa-bed-room and I'd lost the remote control. Bugger it!

                                              ***

By my bedtime my throat was less sore but my eyes were itchy, the cat was crying for attention and I needed a pee. I had to give into the cat as he was scratching at the door. Richard was also coughing in the spare room at the top of the house and it felt like 1 am. In fact it was only 10:30 pm and I just about managed to watch 'The Durrells' in a semi- recumbent position on an uncomfortable sofa bed, two hours after transmission. I decided to take something to knock me out. It wouldn't do for the Durrell's friend, Theo, to try to spend any time in our house of chaos. He displayed severe OCD in tonight's episode and couldn't bear a thing out of place.

By sheer fluke I remembered to bring in the geraniums - we're expecting yet another morning frost - I was out there, barefoot, in my nighty on the patio, feeling cold ...Bloody geraniums!  I fed the cat -  to stop him scratching at the door - I took a paracetamol-containing night time decongestant and nicked the Easter egg I bought for Richard. I felt like scoffing it and getting the duvet covers plastered in chocolate. 

By 11 pm Richard had stopped coughing, the cat had stopped crying and I'd eaten  the chocolate egg. I'd managed to get most of the day's paint off my hands and, although I knew I really was quite tired, didn't feel sleepy. Damn it. The only other chocolate egg in the house is an expensive Green & Black's dark chocolate one. Perhaps I should find something else to do...

Like a crossword or read a book like normal people. 

Decorating creates chaos ...

The A-Z of how to ruin your back while streamlining your house

What have I been doing with my time instead of writing my blog? This time last year I was immobile with a slipped disc - and jobs around the house got left. But this January life was very different from January 2018. Jobs HAD to be done. There were cupboards we couldn't get in to as they were SOOO full. And we had to redecorate both at our house and mum's house - which has been empty five years and has had two sets of builders in... And we're tentatively planning to put our master bedroom and ensuite on AirBnB. And I mean tentative ...

During January and February this year I've been:- 

a)Moving furniture for friends and selling it from our garage - in the snow! 

b) clearing our mini-kitchen - it's an ensuite kitchen - attached to our bathroom - yep - odd! 

c) clearing all our wardrobes for future guests 

d) moving our personal belongings to our inbuilt lockable wardrobes

e) chucking 26 bags of rubbish -  to the dump

f) sorting another 8 bags ready for a car boot sale on Easter Day

g) clearing under our bed and moving furniture to decorate our bedroom

h) decorating our bedroom and painting small occasional pieces of furniture - it was beautiful and sunny in the garden in February - yes - February - ideal weather for paintng small tables and chairs outside 

During March I was:

i) sorting and chucking loads of stuff from our transit room - moving our chest of drawers into there - with Richard's help 

j) decorating our bedroom - 3 walls, doors and all the paintwork

k) sorting the guest bedroom on the top floor, sleeping up there whilst we had new ensuite bathroom done - chucking at least 3 more bags of rubbish

l) moving all our personal financial files upstairs - sorting them and labelling them to free up cupboards in our ensuite mini kitchen - we are planning to advertise our master bedroom and kitchen and ensuite on AirBnB - for one season only 

m) moving bedroom furniture - with Richard's help - and hoovering every day for 10 days while we had the ensuite bathroom done

n) travelling up to mum's over the last two weekends in March which made my back ache from the car seat

o) 6 days of decorating at mum's - getting very tired and sleeping on less supportive mattresses than I need BUT no moving of furniture

p) then when the back pain started, last Sunday night - the last day of March - the last day of three months of punishing my discs and trapped sciatic nerve - sweeping and mopping dust and debris in mum's conservatory - it was really left in a poor state after builders had been in - but that truly hurt my back - I thought I wouldn't be able to finish painting at mum's on Monday - April 1 - April Fool's Day - but managed it with 2 x co-codamol and ibuprofen

q) then clearing newspapers and dustsheets, loading our car in a rush to get to the farm shop we like enroute home

During April 

r) collecting a good-sized bathroom cabinet for all the medicines I've moved from our ensuite

s) clearing and cleaning stairs for our new cleaner - to see what needs doing when we start AirBnB - especially getting behind the radiator in the hall - that always hurts my back

t) moving surplus shoes, boots, scarves and winter gloves off the stairs 

u) trying not to do too much as my back started complaining but I had to get rollers, tins of paint and dust sheets to our shed and kitchen cupboards plus the old  fold-up chairs - used while decorating mum's furniture-free house - up to the garage - Richard did most of that while I was on the pain killers and soaking in a warm bath

v) I want to put bark on the flower beds today - to suppress weeds - will my back moan at me? 

w)and - later today - before the rains come -  continue planting up pots, tubs and window boxes - a splash of colour for the patio and the front garden 

x) will I manage to paint the new fence panels? perhaps - if it's a sunny, warm day - I often seem to be doing this on a Good Friday - Richard will help

y) moving remnants of the old fence to the car for the tip - Richard will HAVE to do that - I can't bend and lift wooden posts

z) anything else that hasn't been done yet - like sorting our downstairs loo and breakfast room - we need to get our house to look more like a home and not a place we've just moved into -
 and, finally, getting everything out of cupboards for the car boot sale over Easter weekend - hoping for dry, warmish weather 😏

Then we deserve a holiday - in a place with supportive mattresses and lots of warm weather or a sauna! 

And there we have it - the tale of how to ruin your back A-Z

Sent from my ipad

All change!

We've had a very busy three months: storing and selling furniture for friends of ours who don't live in Bath but who had a housefull of goodies to be disposed of here.  Then all change in our house - new ensuite bathroom and other works, and finally the decorating of my mother's empty home. Each situation required the moving of cupboards, cabinets, tables and sofas. With a bad back like mine I've had to rely on the menfolk to manoevre the heavy items. I can't lift or shift!

One remarkable day in February saw some lovely people from Scandinavia trudging through the six-inch snow to retrieve a dainty chest of drawers from the garage. We had stored our friends' furniture there. They were very pleased with it, paid cash and were clearly not put off by the wintry weather. The little chest now resides in their home in Corsham, just across the Wiltshire border from us in Bath.

Our master bedroom, ensuite kitchen and ensuite bathroom have been completely cleared. The former has been decorated and the latter has been refitted with a new shower, washbasin, toilet and non-slip floor. It will be adorned by a new shower door, duckboard, thick white bath sheets and a square non-slip mat for the shower tray. So a lot of work has been carried out there. The mini kitchen hasn't been upgraded but is now home to a clothes rail and is storage for archived documents, photographs, diaries, newspaper clippings and so on. More a walk-in wardrobe than a mini kitchen.

It's taken a lot of effort to sell £300 worth of furnishings from our garage - which is now empty - and to upgrade our master bedroom. But it's done!

Last weekend we began another huge task: the decorating of my mother's house. It has been empty for five - yes five - years. After all mum's furnishings had been removed I thought each room would look dowdy, dismal, drab and forlorn. But not so. Apart from the conservatory - which needs work - and an ancient carpet in one of the bedrooms, the house looked remarkably good. Our childhood home has been lifted by the installation of a new garage door, a brand new, completely virgin kitchen and a brand new shower and bathroom.

Thus far we have managed to decorate two rooms downstairs, one needs its ceiling painted and its skirting boards doing. Another merely (merely!) requires skirtings to be glossed. Bedroom doors are more or less finished and one bedroom has already had its walls and ceiling completed redecorated. This weekend we will paint the other bedrooms, complete the paintwork in the hall and on the landing. Then we start on the front door and porch. Thankfully builders have decorated the stairwell, hall and landing in white emulsion. However that has left the skirting boards looking drab.

We will do what we can do.

Then we will dress the rooms with a painting, a plant, an occasional table or some such.
And our old home may be ready to hand on to another family.

It will be the end of the MacPhersons, my family, in Nightingale Place. Such a pretty address but no longer ours. Time to move out and move on.

Will all our work be enough to attract a potential purchaser?

Fit for February - My 28 Day Fitness Plan for Cancer Research

Last year I began Michael Mosley's HIIT ( high intensity interval training) and resistance exercise regime coupled with a low carb eating plan. For six months I went on a low carb diet and have only recently begun eating wholemeal bread again. And even that is a rare occurence. I never have pasta, potatoes, rice, pastry or biscuits. I do allow myself a few squares of 85% dark chocolate and thin tortillas. My breakfast consists of whole-rolled oats and blueberries and for pudding I usually have Fage Greek yogurt with fruit. Or I make my own chocolate cake from red kidney beans with sweetener. It actually tastes very moist and chocolatey. My sugar intake is generally low now. Although sweet potatoes are carbs they have a lower glycaemic index than the ordinary spud and are better for us all overall. And I don't miss sugar!

Since I know how to exercise reasonably efficiently these days it seemed a good idea to participate in the Cancer Research UK Fit for February fund raiser. I'm being sponsored to stay fit - a win-win situation!

I'm so pleased my target of £50 has already been overtaken and I aim to raise £100 by the end of February.
This is my Fit for February plan:

February 1 onwards:
day 1   step ups x 20
day 2   standing dumbbell (arm) crunches (with weights) x 20
day 3   step ups x 20

There was heavy snow on the ground from the end of January and it was impossible to go for walks or even get the car out for the fitness spa where I swim. I started gently because I hadn't exercised much since Hogmanay.

day 4  4 reps of step ups x 20
day 5  8 reps of step ups x 20 and 4500 steps (we went for a walk once the snow had gone)
day 6  HIIT - warm up, star bursts: 2 reps x 20 and 4 x run-in-place for 20 seconds at high speed
day 7  harder resistance exercise 8 x 20 step ups including more challenges

After a week I'd got back to my indoor exercise regime from last year. All I needed was to add 9000 steps  (a walk into town and back) daily.

day 8  4 reps of step ups x 20
day 9  standing dumbbell (arm) crunches (with weights) x 20
day 10  HIIT - warm up, star bursts: 2 reps x 20 and 4 x run-in-place for 20 seconds at high speed
and  harder resistance exercise 8 x 20 step ups including more challenges
day 11  4 reps of step ups x 20

When I followed Michael Mosley last year I needed to exercise like I did on day 10 but for three times a week. With the added workouts I'm doing now I'm unlikely to be exercising more overall on a weekly basis. I'm just spreading out what I normally do over seven days instead of three.

day 12  5000 steps
day 13  standing dumbbell (arm) crunches (with weights) x 20
day 14  HIIT - warm up, star bursts: 2 reps x 20 and 4 x run-in-place for 20 seconds at high speed
and  harder resistance exercise 8 x 20 step ups including more challenges
day 15  4000 steps
day 16  standing dumbbell (arm) crunches (with weights) x 20
day 17  3000 steps plus HIIT - warm up, star bursts: 2 reps x 20 and 4 x run-in-place for 20 seconds at high speed and  harder resistance exercise 4 x 20 step ups including more challenges
day 18  standing dumbbell (arm) crunches (with weights) x 20

The beauty of this plan is that  it's cheap - and I only borrowed the dumbbells. The rest of my exercise schedule is done without any specialist equipment and costs £000. What I've failed to do is to cover 9000 steps daily nor am I swimming three times a week at the moment. However I have continued my standing dumbbell arm crunches which I didn't incorporate into my plan last year. And I'm doing indoor exercises daily. I could continue raising money for CRUK by doing 10,000 steps daily but March can still be bleak and it might not be nice enough outside. Either way what I've achieved so far is, I feel, a good start. Michael Mosley's team advises having rest days too.

From this week I intend to swim more often and get back to walking 9000 steps daily. When the weather is warmer and drier it'll be more inviting for a power walk!

Thanks to everyone who has sponsored me thus far. Can we make £100 for CRUK? See my facebook page for an update and do make a donation - even £2.50 goes a long way. By the end of February I hope to be able to say I'm walking daily and swimming three times a week on top of my HIIT.

It's good for me and good for CRUK.

Yippee and heartfelt thanks!

Poor Nelson - vegans & pets

This morning, for once, Nelson crept into our bedroom quietly, rather than bounding in or chasing us and hiding under the valance. I was listening to BH - my Sunday morning treat - and explained to him that if I was vegan I might not agree with keeping him as a pet. He didn't seem to react. And it shows he does vaguely see us as masters in our own home because he occasionally cries out ahead of his entrance to the bedroom - as if he's asking for permission to enter. Overnight, when he's not out killing mice and squirrels, he sleeps downstairs on a thick, fluffy blanket which his aunties gave him at Christmas. He rarely sleeps on our bed.

Now he's almost nine he does doze more. He certainly perpetuates his habit of sleeping in the guest bedroom most afternoons. That's fine but he loves meaty cat food - something  I doubt plant-based food eaters would condone. Indeed I've been told pet ownership is something vegans really don't agree with at all. Although two vegans I know very well each own a dog and they've never said to me that having a pet is something they don't hold with. And we love vegan food - just not all the time.

It just so happens Nelson isn't a pet that vegans would necessarily be concerned about. He was a rescue cat; his heavily pregnant mum had been found wandering and forlorn by a lovely family who took her in and helped her give birth. She and her tiny kittens were well cared for at Bath Cats and Dogs Home until the kits were weaned. After all the kittens had been adopted - Nelson was one of them - the lovely family took the queen home with them. The family even came to see Nelson on his first day with us - the day we collected him from the cats' home. 

My understanding is that vegans don't like the fact that we 'own' our pets. If I am correct ownership goes against their belief in animal rights. However I may have got that wrong. But as we are giving what-would-have-been-a-stray cat a warm, loving, food-filled home we are likely doing the right thing. We are certainly not keeping him in a cage on a meat farm. I regularly donate to charities who rescue dogs - especially - from such harsh, terrifying places. And we are not using him to breed like the poor animals in a puppy farm. In this case it's the females who are at risk by being kept constantly pregnant. They must be worn down with it. And they never go out for walks or play. Just get mated, give birth and suckle their young. I quite understand why vegans are opposed to factory farming - especially for sentient creatures like dogs - especially - and cats.

And of course I agree with caring for animals properly and find dog and cat farms abhorrent. I also don't like the idea of buying an animal as a pet from a breeder - unless the nursing dogs or cats are truly well cared for and aren't expected to be constantly mated. Our family were very careful in choosing a breeder for their first labrador. And a fine animal he turned out to be. 

But I don't want to give up Nelson nor the idea of having a pet. Although he can be a tyrant - we are his slaves when he's hungry - he also provides warmth, companionship and interest. And, of course, woe unto you if you're a mouse looking for a warm house in which to reside. Nelson will get you, mousey! 

Our cat would have been a stray or an inmate at an animal sanctuary if we hadn't adopted him. 

He wasn't born in a pet shop, nor is he the result of forced breeding on a puppy farm. Thankfully he wasn't rescued from a meat farm either. I think we are doing the right thing caring for and keeping a cat. I don't, however, think we are going to convince him to eat plant-based  foods. (Although he eats grass and licks cat mint in the summer months).

 I knew of one family of four cats - all strays - who were content to eat vegetarian cat food. I think if we tried that with Nelson he would ambush us and grab us round the ankles until we gave in. Cats like meat, don't they?